we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
