no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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