i wish there were pregnant emoticons
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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