Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize