Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
