Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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