never play flip cup with pint glasses
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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