I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
We named our party play list daddy issues
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
