There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
