today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
