He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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