would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
