whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
