I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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