Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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