Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
