For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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