I'm laying in your front yard are you home
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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