Tell her she can't have a vagina
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
