those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
It's just like the Real World with babies
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
