Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
