i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
