i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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