I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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