She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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