When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
