"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
