how do flat chested girls get laid?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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