And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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