Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
