it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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