Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I need moral support for this bender
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
