He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Vodka?
Forever.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
A bitchslap is in order.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
