You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
