She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
