new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
