we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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