How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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