Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
