yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
zippers are such a cool invention
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
