So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
