YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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