I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
