Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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