The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
