we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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