Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
