Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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