he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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