Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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