I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
he was CRYING into my vagina
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
