I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
